Sudden (Flash, Micro, Short Short) Fiction, Take 2


On Freshinkadmin’s blog, there was a photo, borrowed from http://ermiliablog.wordpress.com. The photo was to inspire as part of a writing exercise. It suggested a 212 word micro story which follows the image. The story is unedited. I will work on this piece and submit it to my writer’s group for feedback and editing. I am subnitting it here to you. Please feel free to let me know, via comments, if this flash fiction catches your interest or needs a total revision — and why. Without the why, I can’t improve it.

The Feigning

Riding home from town inside the horse-drawn carriage, she is alone, away from prying eyes. She unties the string around the parcel and tears the brown paper, unwrapping a raft of printed sheets. A handwritten note tops the pile.

“My Dear Mr. Kirkland: It is with great pleasure I send you an advance of $50 toward your novel Paramour. I am enclosing proof sheets. Global Press will publish your book straight away. . .”

Without finishing the note, she bangs her cane on the roof of the coach. It signals the driver to halt. She gathers the pages in a satchel and her long skirt in her hands. She steps through the open door to the ground.

“Wait here,” she says to the coachman.

Heading into a thicket of pines, she disappears from view. She emerges in an opening where she can see straight to the sky overhead.  Alone, she dances, head tossed back, and throws the pages into the air. She laughs and squeals to watch paper snow around her.

“I did it. I’m published!”

She spins again, then bends to hold her sides, the corset impeding her breath. She gathers pages, hugging the pile to her bosom. Recomposed, she picks her way back toward her civil life.

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3 responses »

  1. It sounds very honest that is probably what every writer would do when the dream (of getting something published) comes true. The problem with it, is not who likes it or hates it! You could go both ways: either trash it or put more effort and work into it.
    The hard way would be to go on with it, but I think you should ask yourself first very honestly:
    is there enough inspiration to continue this?
    Does it mean so much to me?
    Does it really move something within me?

    If the answer would be yes, you must find out what that is exactly.
    See my dear, you only have a story if there is something to be said. There must be obstacles in the way before reaching the goal and that journey is your story.
    That short paragraph sounds more like it is done, there is nothing more to it.
    It’s not clear, if it was hard to reach that stadium (of being published).
    Was there a struggle maybe even sacrifice?

    That bit shows just a moment of happiness, that is lovely, but does hardly catch the attention of a reader who wants to make an experience (something extraordinary out of every day standards).

    So, it is really in your hand to what conclusion you come. Do you know the answers?
    I’d try to give you my opinion, I do hope you get something out of it. :)

    P.S.: I hope it doesn’t sound rude or anything – I do not mean to harm the sensible feelings of an artist. :)

    • No, no! Want the input and value it! It’s interesting that this story came from a writing exercise, whereas the others came from my own reservoir. So you are right about the passion for it.. And the message. Will have to think about that. Great advice!! Thanks. xoxo

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